How can I help my friend who has an eating disorder?
Monday, September 22nd, 2008 at
12:43 am
anonymous asked:
She doesn’t know that I know about it. She hasn’t told any of us about it (her friends). She is one of those people that appears very strong. Since she hasn’t told me about it I feel like I shouldn’t tell her I know, so how can I help her?
She doesn’t know that I know about it. She hasn’t told any of us about it (her friends). She is one of those people that appears very strong. Since she hasn’t told me about it I feel like I shouldn’t tell her I know, so how can I help her?
I would especially appreciate advice from people who either have an eating disorder or have had one, since you would understand what she is going through more than I do.
Tagged with: Advice From • Eating Disorder • People
Filed under: Eating Disorders
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Tell a responsible person…
Tell her as a loyal friend and companion you’re not gonna sit idly by and watch her kill herself.
I first experience bulimia when I was in high school and I still struggle with it, now at 28. Just one year ago I confessed to my husband and told him that I really needed help. Secretly over the years even though I did my best at hiding it, I really just wished that someone would have reached out to me. You need to confront her and tell her that you are going to support her no matter what. Hug her when you tell her that you know. She is in a lot of pain right now.
Well I have not had an eating disorder but I suffered through
my daughter’s anorexia for years. Not talking about it is the
wrong thing to do. I have linked to an excellent source that
gives you advice what to do. First of all, let her know that you know.
Then be supportive. If she is not willing to admit it yet, don’t
argue. DO involve her parents. Parents can sometimes not see
things that their kid’s friends do. I wish I had woke up before
she lost 20 lbs. We went through several psychologists who
specialized in eating disorders who ended up being anorexics
looking for a doctor (the patient) to ok what they were doing.
I also spent a lot on nutritionists. Sometimes, if it goes on
long enough admitting them to a rehab that specializes in eating
disorders is necessary but very expensive.
It is only through cognitive behavioral therapy, learning to change
one’s thoughts about food and self-image, that they can get
better. I bought Ten Days to Self-Esteem by David D. Burns
and she and I went through that book together. It turned out
the psychologists all blamed me for putting her in ice skating
and ballet when she was little because these disciplines reinforce
the eating disorder situation. I had no way of knowing that, plus
not everyone who does those things ends up anorexic, so I don’t
know if I buy that.
My daughter was a beautiful, healthy, honor society student, so
it took me back when she all of a sudden she lost 20 lbs. and her
friends started talking to me about her not eating at school. It
got so bad that she was counting her calories and measuring her
food when I wasn’t looking. She thought she was fat even though
she is underweight. She always wanted to eat in her room and
not with the rest of the family. It took an Act of Congress to
get her in the dining room so I allowed her to have her way which
was wrong, as a parent. You don’t have to worry about making
the wrong decision since you are a friend.
Today she is 21 and in college but still thin. We talk about her
image problems from time to time, but she says she is over it.
I don’t know if anyone gets over it. So be there to help her and
try to make her aware you know she is not eating like other
people normally eat.
Good luck to you. This is a hard one.
Limo
If my friend knew about my eating disorder, I’d like for them to tell me they know and for them to be there for me if I ever needed to talk.
Also, tell her you’re concerned and you’ll be there for her. Let her know she needs to get some help to get to feeling better and beat this. Tell her she could die from this if she continues going down this dangerous road (she may or may not know this).
Now there are times that some people who are struggling through an eating disorder doesn’t want help at all. If she is in immediate danger with her health, the hospital can help keep her alive for a certain amount of time (if she needs to be inpatient). A person with an eating disorder can’t get better unless they want the help and get better. There were times I didn’t want to get better, because my eating disorder felt like a friend to me (it was my comfort, my drug).
If you don’t want her to know that you know, than you should tell a trusting adult who could possibly help find a way of helping her. If she is an adult, there isn’t much I can think of that you can do to help her without her knowing you know.
If you want some more help, please email me and I’ll do what I can to give out more suggestions. There is also a great website call something fishy about eating disorder that is a great place to go to understand and how to help someone you know that has an eating disorder (listed below).. Take care!!
~Liv
Hi, I suffer from Bulimia, and have been for the past 2 years or so. I think you should approach your friend, sit her down and let her know that you know. Be as supportive as you can for her and make sure that she knows you are there for her but try to encourage her to come forward and speak to her parents about it. You have to be patient with her and don’t force her or break her trust. When I talked about my disorder with my boyfriend, it felt like a huge weight lifted off me. I still struggle every day but I know I will get better the harder I try. It helps knowing that you have the support of people around you and that they don’t **** you for what’s going on.
The best thing you can do is to tell her what you have noticed and offer her some help just life referring him to a counselor or treatment center before things get worst.
i heard that if you put like cling film around your atomach it makes you feel full and makes you not want to eat anymore, not sure if true tho…