My Friend Has an Eating Disorder, What Can I Do To Help?
Sunday, September 5th, 2010 at
9:53 am
ophoenix28 asked:
I don’t want to do something that would cause it to be worse, or have to tell their parents, I will surely do so if it gets too serious without a doubt. My friend recently began cutting herself and now my other friend believes she has an eating disorder. What can I do to help before I have to inform her parents?
I don’t want to do something that would cause it to be worse, or have to tell their parents, I will surely do so if it gets too serious without a doubt. My friend recently began cutting herself and now my other friend believes she has an eating disorder. What can I do to help before I have to inform her parents?
Tagged with: Cutting • Doubt • Parents
Filed under: Eating Disorders
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Dear ophoenix28-
I am the mother of a 17 year old recovering from anorexia. It’s very hard for parents to know where the line is between “normal” teenage anxiety and moodiness and where depression and eating disorders begin. Parents frequently want to let their children work through the “normal” stuff on their own because that’s how we all grow and become confident in ourselves as adults. However, depression and eating disorders are too hard for women in their 30s and 40s (as I saw when my daughter was hospitalized) and no teenager should have to suffer on their own.
You may want to consult a trusted teacher, school nurse, or school social worker. Let them know the signs that you are seeing as her friend. If you don’t feel comfortable with any of these people, perhaps your own parents or a friend’s parents could talk to your sick friend’s parents. If you’re still unsure that you want to talk to an adult, write your friend’s parent a anonymous letter. Be factual; try to describe the ways you have seen your friend change in social interaction; let them know if there have been suicidal thoughts or thoughts of drug or alcohol use; try not to be emotional (hard, I’m sure.) The earlier the intervention is in these behaviors, the more successful they will be. Our brains are amazing in that they can mold themselves to believe all sorts of things, even when it is telling us ridiculous things such as we are worthless and don’t deserve to eat.
My daughter was hospitalized, but if I have followed my instincts early on and not listened to her pediatrician, and not allowed her to “work it out on her own”, she would not have needed this. A therapist and a nutionist, definitely, family and friends that encourage her, absolutely.
You are brave and loving to care enough about your friend to ask for help.
Good luck to you and your friend.
-Crystal
if she has one you cant wait sorry but it can be serious i would tell her parents or if its easier u can tell your parents to talk to hers. Your friend might get mad but you are helping them and the will probably understand later
i’m sorry that’s horrible. cutting is extremely bad, so i’d definitely talk to her parents. eating disorders can get worse. my friend had it very bad, she had to be hospitalized. please get that girl some help!
Here is a great website that helped me with my ED.
Explain to her what it’s doing to her body and herself emotionally. Tell her that they is hope (in Jesus!) and that she can get help. Tell her you’re with her every step of the way and you will not give up on her. If she allows you, ask her if you can take her to the school conselor or a counselor outside of school (although that can be expensive). Be firm, but kind. Put yourself in her place and act on that. And remember, if you can’t help her: talk to her parents!! They really will understand and I’m sure they love their daughter and will help her! I hope you can get through to her–I’ll be praying for you!
Also, this website will help: or
Call an ambulance. Tell them the problem, then they’ll ship her to a hospital and get her sorted out. That or give her food.
MA
Talk with your guidance counselor at school. They need help and the guidance counselor will have resources that can help.
I’m glad that you want to help your friends. Being able to keep a secret is a sign of a good loyal friend. However, we can’t keep secrets when danger is involved. Your friends may not understand now, but you are being a very good friend to them if you tell someone who can help them.
Also, this is still a private matter. You shouldn’t discuss this with any of your peers unless your friends want you to. They will not appreciate it if you tell other kids.
A guidance counselor will be able to keep it confidential, but they will have to tell people who can help with any dangerous behaviors. Your friends will not be in trouble.
both cutting and eating disorders can be because of lack of worthiness, lack of self esteem, not always but sometimes
i’ve gone through this personally
and what helped me was to have someone i Truly cared about talk to me
and help me through it
its not a sure fire thing but talk to her, find out why, and then comfort her, nothings worth hurting yourself or starving yourself/or being bulimic
make her feel good abou herself
keep in mind this might not work and a parent might have to step in,
I think going to her parents is the only way. They can get her the help she needs.
As a friend, you should convince her to seek professional help, at all costs. If you truly care about this person, you SHOULD talk to their parents about them, and for them to talk to their daughter. If not her parents, you should talk to someone you trust about it. Doing nothing is worse then you think.